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We arranged to meet up the following week, without Steve, to go to yoga. Now, we catch up at least weekly, we chat on WhatsApp most days.

Don’t Look Back

I wondered what Lisa thought about this, so over brunch recently, I asked her. She laughed so loudly that other people in the restaurant turned around to scowl at us.

Lisa and I have been friends for almost five years. Steve and I have been a couple for almost seven years. When I mentioned to Steve that I was going to be writing about it, he looked confused. I reminded him that Lisa is his ex, that some people find our friendship weird. When we first started dating, Steve mentioned that he was friendly with an ex, and I gave him a mental bonus point for this.

Even worse, if they actively bad-mouth an ex. There are two sides to every story. Steve admits fault in his relationship with Lisa, and Lisa does too, but that was all a long time ago. Occasionally though, something does come up that reminds us about it.

Here's Why Your Ex Keeps Texting You After The Breakup

It almost always gives us all a good laugh. Last week, Steve went shopping with Lisa to help her choose a bike. After six hours of YouTube tutorials she relented and called a neighbour. Lisa and I exchanged a look. We have both witnessed Steve trying to assemble flat-pack furniture. We both burst out laughing. Sadly, the truth is that women are still encouraged to view one another as adversaries rather than friends in many avenues of life, from romance to work, motherhood to friendships. And although I think there are more and more positive examples every day of women lifting other women up, I think that for a little while longer at least, some people will continue to think mine and Lisa's friendship is weird.

I turned to two experts for their tips:. Start the discussion early. Suzana Flores. Yes, this goes for the small stuff, like how to split the bill on your first few dates. But even as your relationship progresses, it also means heading off potential issues each time something big happens. For example, Flores recommends couples going on their first vacation together discuss financial expectations early in the planning. So, unlike me, before the trip. Work to reconcile financial differences — or know your limits if you can't. A major point of contention was that Kevin was extremely strict with his budget, whereas I tend to be more flexible.

This was bad news from the start since financial incompatibility is often a deal breaker, says millennial finance expert Erin Lowry.

Q&A: Why would an ex want to stay in touch? — Susan Winter

Be open about your money goals. I didn't pay it, but it did teach me a lot about how to approach money in my future romantic relationships. It's not like I'll kiss a boyfriend goodnight and then say, "Hey, how are your spending habits?

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‘My Ex-Boyfriend Hates Me and It’s Messing Up My New Life!’

It indicates a way to close an interaction, or dismiss a notification. Natalia Lusinski , LearnVest.


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If the relationship ended on bad terms or your ex feels the breakup was their fault, they may be texting you out of guilt and a desire to make things right, Rodman added. Another possibility? Whether they are hoping to get back together or develop a friendship, texting is a low-risk way to gauge your interest. And if you were the one to break things off, your ex could be reaching out in order to get some closure.

And who knows: Your ex could be sitting at home bored, just fishing for attention from an old flame to pass the time. Your stomach drops, your heart starts beating faster, your palms get sweaty.

But after the initial excitement from the ex text has worn off, the feelings that follow can be a mixed bag. In other cases, receiving a text from an ex can immediately bring up feelings of annoyance, dread or even fear — particularly if the relationship was a toxic and unhappy one that you want distance from.

Know that you have every right to ignore a text from your ex — especially if replying will put your mental health or safety in jeopardy. But what about when the relationship was, for the most part, happy and healthy?